Use empathy and inquiry to improve computer-side manner

  • How would you rate your own communications skills?

What comunication skills say about you

  • They represent your own brand
  • 85% of success comes from soft skills
  • only 15% of success comes from technical knowledge
  • makes best managers, entrepreneurs and successful businesses
    • example: Steve Jobs
  • effective communication builds trust!
  • we make inferences about other people based on their communication

Myth’s about communication

  • communication skills don’t matter – only technical skills are important
    • wrong: no team work possible without communication
  • IM communication doesn’t matter
    • wrong: every communication is important
  • people can figure out what I mean
    • wrong: be clear about what you mean – don’t waste other peoples time
  • my tone doesn’t matter
    • wrong: tone matters, even in written communication
  • doesn’t matter if I actively participate in zoom meetings
    • wrong: you can’t multi-task!!


  • not possible for humans
  • trying to multi-task increses stress
  • attention is selective
    • task dependend
    • depends on motivation
  • you can choose to focus (or not) – focus: your choice
    • you decide what’s in front of you
    • turn off distractions (devices, notifications, etc.)

the new EI

  • empathy
    • think about the other person
    • make sure your communication is clear
      • be specific and clear
      • respect other peoples time
      • communicate effectively (as much as necessary, as little as possible)
  • inquiry (How do you connect to what they know?)
    • Ask lot’s of questions
      • question your own communication
      • Why, what, when, who, where, how, …
      • What does the other person need to know?
      • questions what you may be misinterpreting
      • don’t make hasty asspumtions/conclusions

result of EI

  • you’ll communicate with your recipients perspective in mind
  • engage (empathy)
  • make your messages clear and succinct!
  • don’t have a brand by default – build your brand (communication) actively!

after-talk conversation

  • know the purpose (goal) of your communication before you begin
    • how should other people know what you want if you don’t even know
  • bring the most relevat information first (also in written communication)
    • don’t bury the lead
      • bullet points, headings, sub-headings
      • maybe let it revise by someone
  • take your time
    • often we don’t allow ourselves to take our time (especially in the online world)